A Letter To My Younger Self

Before I knew how to talk about everything I’d been through, I wrote a letter — not to anyone outside of me, but to her. The little girl who didn’t yet know she was worthy. Who didn’t know that what she’d live through would one day become the thing that helped other people survive their own.

I wrote it looking back, from where I stand now, at how far we’ve come.

Here it is.

Dear Younger Self,

You didn’t have to go through the things that you did, and I wish you didn’t know what it felt like to never feel good enough for your dad. Little did you know the impact that would have in the future, on relationships, with male bosses, etc. I am proud of you for leaning in and doing the work so you could break through the cycle, along with the pain that came with it. To learn that you are loved and worthy and that real love shouldn’t feel like abandonment.I am really proud of you and your willingness to repair the relationship with your dad, even when it’s hard, because it has also healed you. I am proud of you for speaking your truth and for understanding and creating boundaries that will serve you later in your life.I am proud of you for deciding to stay. That life was worth living. As I write this, I recognize how proud I am and how many times I have written that in this letter, but it’s an indication and acknowledgment that that’s all I wanted as my younger self. To feel validated, proud, and to have a sense of belonging. Perhaps you were searching for that all along, until you found it in yourself, as an adult. You have always been a fighter, and even when it has sucked and all you wanted to do was give up, the resilience you gained through experiences will teach you how to navigate all of the crazy life challenges that will be thrown your way, as you grow. I want you to know that you will always be okay.You will learn to love and show up for yourself, because you choose to. I want you to know you will always come home to yourself and find a safe place there. You may feel lost and walk a different path for a bit until you find your place, but you will find it. As you evolve, so will those places. Remain curious. Don’t let the experiences keep you jaded. Always be willing to learn about yourself and others.Happiness isn’t found in material things. It’s found in how you live your life, the people you surround yourself with, and the joy you find in what you do.Life will have twists and turns, but you will be okay, because you always have yourself.You turned broken into beautiful, and the journey is just getting started.This is what freedom and self-love look like. You found it. Everything led you to here. In this moment, with these people, and these opportunities.Your voice is being heard, and it’s going to shine. It’s going to inspire others and change systems. Your voice is going to be heard in a good way, because it’s coming from a good place. You have all the reassurance you need.Thank you for choosing to live so that others could, too.

With love,

Your older self, Chelsey

That letter is where my book begins to make sense to me — not as a list of things that happened, but as a story of becoming. I Shouldn’t Have to Play the Victim: My Experience with Domestic Violence and the Justice System is the long version of that letter. It’s every chapter little Chelsey needed someone to write down for her: the relationship with my dad and the work it took to repair it, the years inside a justice system that wasn’t built to protect people like me, the moments I chose to stay when staying felt impossible, and the slow, unglamorous process of coming home to myself.

It’s not a story about being a victim. It’s a story about what happens after — when you decide your voice still gets to matter, and you use it anyway.

If any part of that letter landed for you, I think this book will too.

I Shouldn’t Have to Play the Victim launches on August 24, 2026. I’ll be celebrating with a book signing at Indigo in Lethbridge on October 10th — I’d love to see you there.

More of this story is coming. Thank you for being here for it.

Roots down. Rise up.

Chelsey