Making Mistakes and Building Confidence

Have you ever felt embarrassed by a mistake? No matter how big or small?We have all been there. Some of us are just more willing to admit it than others — and that's exactly what separates confident leaders from less confident ones.

Mistakes aren't something to be ashamed of. Used well, they are some of the most powerful learning opportunities available to us. They can challenge our thinking, deepen our relationships, and yes — actually build our confidence. Let me tell you about one that stayed with me far longer than it should have.

I was giving a land acknowledgement on a reserve not far from my community. For reasons I still can't fully explain, I defaulted to my home community's land acknowledgement — rather than acknowledging the Nation whose land I was actually standing on.It was an honest mistake. But the response I received made that very clear. One council member called it out directly, in front of my colleagues. She was right.

I knew better than how I had shown up, and the embarrassment I felt was real. After my presentation, I apologized and owned it — I recognized she was correct, and I committed to being more mindful going forward. She offered me another reminder. Other council members were gentler, telling me they knew I meant well. That helped a little, but not much. I was still carrying it.I told this story to people close to me for months. They told me not to overthink it. That it was fine. And it took a long time — and genuine reflective practice — for that to actually land.

Months later, that same council member reached out and asked me to partner with her on an upcoming project. That invitation told me something important: I had shown her I could own my mistakes, learn from them, and show up differently. And so I did.

Here's how to navigate mistakes — a framework I've come back to again and again.

1. Own it.This is the most important step. Admit the mistake without casting blame on others. It takes real courage, and it builds trust in a way that very little else can.

2. Apologize.If you were in the wrong, say so sincerely. A genuine apology communicates that you understand what happened and that you're committed to doing things differently. Don't over-apologize — once, clearly, is enough.

3. Receive the feedback. Actively listen. Not everything will land in the moment, and that's okay. Resist the urge to respond immediately. Give yourself space to sit with what was said before you react.

4. Give yourself some grace. Mistakes are part of the learning process. They are not proof of failure. When you learn from them, you're far less likely to repeat them — that's growth, not weakness.

5. Reflect.What happened? Where did things go sideways? What would you do differently? Write it down if you can. There's something about putting pen to paper that helps the brain process experience in a different way.

6. Follow up if needed.Sometimes a conversation isn't finished. If something is left unsaid, go back. Just don't repeat the apology — that's not what this step is for.

7. Use every mistake as a learning opportunity.Not just professionally. All of them. The small ones, the embarrassing ones, the ones that keep you up at night. Each one is showing you something.

8. Know that courage builds confidence.The more you're willing to face your mistakes head-on — to own them, learn from them, and keep going — the more confident you become. Not in spite of the mistakes, but because of how you move through them.