Identity Shift- The process of shedding old layers...and unearthing new ones.

Lately I’ve been feeling an identity shift coming. I finished the first draft of my book and feeling so inspired to share my story with the rest of the world.

With that has come a shift. I’ve healed parts of myself I didn’t know needed healing, and I’ve unearthed pieces of me I didn’t know existed. I’ve come to know myself deeper, even when I didn’t think that was possible.

I am so proud, and it feels like it’s just the beginning.

With that came something else- closing chapters.

The other day I attended a bowling even with my old staff, mentors, and drug treatment court clients. Some I knew during my time there, others had joined after I left. This was the first time I felt like I did not belong there. After reflecting on this experience, I came to the conclusion that this was the closure I probably needed, and I held on to that identity longer than I needed to. It’s interesting because I never felt that my job was such a large part of my identity- until it wasn’t. I talk about knowing who you are, truly, outside of your job, and while I do which has allowed me to be so resilient and bounce forward, it still rang true that it was a larger part of my identity than I realized when I was in it.

I no longer belong with that program, and it is no longer a part of my identity. I needed to accept that. While I will always advocate for the program as a whole because of the incredible work it does to help people entrenched in the justice system, criminality and addiction completely transform their lives, my role and the work I did within the program that exists in my community is no longer what it was. That’s okay. Everything has a timeline. It’s time to shed that layer and keep moving forward.

Another shift I feel coming is friendships. Adult friendships can be difficult to navigate, and as you navigate different seasons, friendship change. Sometimes that feels scary and like a loss, but maybe it’s just the season, or you have outgrown people. Or maybe as friendships have drifted apart you realize your values are not in alignment. It doesn’t mean there has to be hard feelings, but as things shift and change, that’s okay too. We should be in a constant state of flowing, changing and growing.

You have to be willing to sit in the hard stuff to be able to see things clearly.

Truthfully- sometimes these shifts can make you feel alone. But I reflect back on it’s another season of coming home to self to figure out what’s next.

In the past year, so much has happened. Travelled, left a job I loved for a job that took a toll on my wellbeing. New job, lost job, started my own business that came with a steep learning curve, had the ability to do some incredible work, a lengthy family court battle (going on almost 10 years), started a part time job, lost a lot of money, made money, single parenting, and wrote a book.

The one thing that remained is my authenticity and that I am the most aligned I have ever felt, despite all of the chaos and uncertainty.

This is a season of slowing down, and being intentional. Planning my next moves and trusting the universe.

Excited to see what comes next.