Trauma Doesn't Disappear- Our Responses Evolve

I had new doors installed the other day.

That sounds like nothing, right?

It took months—from ordering to installation—and when the installers finally arrived, they were two men. At first, I didn’t think much of it. They were here to do a job.

Then my mind shifted.

I am outnumbered.

I am home alone.

What if they hurt me?

I went to the bathroom and, before I could stop it, intrusive images flooded in—visions of them coming in, of things being done to me. My body reacted before logic had a chance to catch up.

I paused. Took a breath.

“Not everyone is out to hurt you, Chelsey,” I said to myself.

And still—context matters.

I thought about the news lately. In my community and in surrounding areas. Men luring and harming women and girls at alarming rates. And that’s only what gets reported. We all know how much never does.

So I grounded myself in reality.

I am upstairs.

They are downstairs, working.

They have their own bathroom.

I can hear them talking—even if I don’t understand the language.

Nothing is happening.

I am safe.

This is the balance trauma teaches us to walk:

Not gaslighting ourselves.

Not dismissing the very real ways our bodies learned to protect us.

But also not allowing our nervous systems to hijack the present.

Years ago, this would have debilitated me. I would have called someone to come sit in my house while the work was being done. I might have frozen, spiralled, or shut down entirely.

Trauma doesn’t ever fully go away.

But our responses change—and that’s what matters.

Through trauma counselling, EMDR, and a tremendous amount of personal development, I’ve gained something I once didn’t have: self-awareness. The ability to check my current reality with clarity instead of fear.

The trauma is still there.

But it no longer runs the show.

And that, to me, is healing.